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| So Sage is nine months old. A milestone, she have now lived outside of my body for longer than she lived inside. It makes me think back to the day she was born. It started the day before with a somewhat routine ultrasound. It was a nice sunny morning as I drove into town for the scan. I stopped for a coffee, as I usually did. I was excited I loved getting a view at her. After the scan I went home, napped and took the kids swimming. When i got to the car there was a message for me to call Sylvia (my midwife) as soon as possible. It was urgent. My heart sank. This could not be good. She told my amniotic fluid was low. Too low. Sage's head had not grown in the last week. I was being sectioned in the morning. Tears ran down my face. I was in the parking lot of the grocery store. Maddie wanted to know what was wrong. I told her, "Don't worry sweetie, it is ok mommy is going to have her baby tomorrow. It is good" But it was not what I was thinking. I longed, prayed and had hoped for a *normal* birth. I did not want a surgical one. It was not in my control. I had to let go. I had to make peace. I did not want the birth of my beautiful baby to be negative. It had to be positive. I prayed for peace and He gave me peace.
The next morning was Maddie's last swimming lesson so I decided to take her. I was filled with nervousness and excitement I need an output.
<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_66hI75IuD9o/SAOgwDYz8NI/AAAAAAAAAEk/4dYT5__aRW4/s1600-h/IMG_0792.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_66hI75IuD9o/SAOgwDYz8NI/AAAAAAAAAEk/4dYT5__aRW4/s320/IMG_0792.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5189167943064482002" border="0" /></a>
<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_66hI75IuD9o/SAOgwTYz8OI/AAAAAAAAAEs/UGSCukTDYHk/s1600-h/IMG_0798.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 160px; height: 343px;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_66hI75IuD9o/SAOgwTYz8OI/AAAAAAAAAEs/UGSCukTDYHk/s320/IMG_0798.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5189167947359449314" border="0" /></a>After swimming lessons we went home and I kisses Morgan and Maddie and went off to have my baby. When Ii got to the hospital Sylvia was waiting. It was great she knew exactly how I was feeling. She knew how I had longed to push this baby from my body. She knew, and having her there was a blessing. I was not really nervous anymore. i was not going to have a vaginal birth. I was having a C/S and at that point I wanted to shout "Let's get this show on the road" On the way down to the OD Sage was wiggling like crazy-she wanted out too. I tried hard to memorize that feeling of a baby moving inside of me. I knew I would not feel it again.
They pushed me into the freezing cold ER. Everyone one in a jovial mood, it was like a party. It was a party. A party for me and Sage. Todd came in once they were ready and all of a sudden she was here!!
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I was so excited. Joy filled and head over heels in love. Sage was here. She was perfect. I was not thinking that I did not have the birth I wanted at that moment. I did not have the birth I had wanted but I crossed the same finish line. The prize was the same. She had to go to the nursery, and I to recovery. I knew it would not be long and Sylvia would bring her down to recovery so we could nurse. I do not have a picture of that first nursing session. Still it is forever imprinted in my mind, as one of the best moment of my life. My baby less than an hour old eagerly nursed at my breast. It was perfect. Time stood still. She nursed for almost half an hour and then we returned to our room.
Soon after Maddie and Morgan arrived to meet their little sister. There are no words for that joy in watching your *bigs* meet the baby. They were both just so happy and proud.
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It was a perfect day. I could not of asked for a more perfect day. Yes, nine months later I still long to birth the way I envisioned. I wish I knew what it was like to push a baby from my body. but my births were what they were. They were meant for me. I do not know why, but I know there is a reason. It is for Him to know.
Happy Nine month baby Sage....
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| So it happened. I got the question. "Are you still
nursing her?" First inside I was jumping with joy-I have struggled so
much and have made it to the point where somebody thought I was weird
for nursing her to 8 1/2 months. Second I was stunned. Is this what
kind of society that we live in? What do comments like this mean. I did
not ask her why she asked, because I did not have time for a
discussion, but obviously she thought Sage did not need to nurse
anymore. Odd, she is eight months she still needs nutrition and if she
was not getting it from the breast she would be getting it from an
artificial nipple. Which in fact she does have to to meet her
nutritional need. But even as a mother who HAS to use formula I know it
is not the best choice. Breast milk is best. So why is it ok to
criticize a mom for nursing *too long* but unacceptable to criticize
for a mom quiting to providing breast milk for her child?
I
would even be criticized for using "quit providing breast milk" rather
than "choosing to bottle feed" It is proven than breast milk is
superior. But when a mom stops breastfeeding before the baby is ready that is what she is doing. Quiting. Babies do not wean at 6 weeks, mothers quit. It is recommended that babies be exclusively breastfeed for
six moths and then to continue in to the second year of their life. At
least. So why do many moms choose to not breast feed. Some becasue they
want their freedom, and they want their body back. For some it is a
challenge and they are not wanting to persevere. it is too hard. They tried.
It did not work. I do not personally buy this at face value. I know
what some women consider trying. Few women are unable to exclusively
breastfeed, even fewer are unable to at least offer some breast milk.
It is not always easy, but not everything good is easy.
So am I still nursing my daughter. Yep, and I do not see myself stopping anytime soon. | | |
| I love Hathor the Cow Goddess. http://thecowgoddess.com/
Her last strip was on "Nursing Rooms". It was great. These rooms can be
both a blessing and a curse. Some are better than others. The one in
the mall near me is a tiny dark room with a change table and a vinyl
bench to sit on. Anyone that has ever nursed would know that a bench in
not concussive to breastfeeding and therefore i wonder why this room is
there. Is it for the convenience and enjoyment of a nursing mom or a
way to keep her out of sight. I hope it is the former.
Now I
appreciate a good mothers room. One that I use on occasion is more like
a rest stop in the mall. It has toys for the older kids, a TV with kids
shows, two big bathrooms with miniature toilets for the kiddo. There
are comfy seats for the nursing moms, and a microwave to heat up foods.
It is welcoming and does not feel like a jail cell like the room I
mentioned earlier.
Where a woman nurses is her choice though
whether a nursing room is provided or not. If a woman wants to nurse in
public not only is it her prerogative but she is protected by law in
Canada. So just because there is a nursing room available doesnt mean
that I will use it.
They can feel very isolating and mean separation from whom ever you are out with.
In
my experience nursing shows less skin than the cover of a Maxim
magazine. There is nothing indecent about feeding a baby. I would like
to society embracing nursing for what is, the natural way that we as
mothers feed our children. | | |
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Yes, there are dishes in my sink.....we ate today
Yes, there are clothes that need putting away...we have nice clothes to put on our bodies.
Yes, there are books on the floor beside the sofa...I can read too my kids and one day they can read to me!
Yes, my bed is unmade-but I have one.
Yes, toys may be underfoot...my kids laughed as they played with them.
Yes,
the house is not perfect but we have a roof over our heads, a warm bed
and warm clothes, we have beautiful children who are healthy and happy.
We are blessed. | | |
| I am 30 weeks. I have 1o more weeks to go. And I am seriously having some mixed feelings. Part of me can not wait to give birth and get my body back. To get rid of the heartburn and the never ceasing nausea, the ability to sleep on my tummy would be nice and I would love to have a nice glass of wine. BUT I love my bump. I think it is cute. I love watching baby (named the-cutie by Maddie) roll and kick inside of me. I am tired but I know that I am getting more sleep now than I will when the-cutie comes. I HATE the sleep deprivation. I do not cope well. I like sleep.
I can not wait to nurse this little one. BUT that again has always been hard for me. I have supply issues and it is exhausting maintaining the feed/pump schedule that i have to to even get baby 60% breast milk vs formula. I hope this time will be different and I think that it will. I learned a lot in my last pregnancy. And can apply it this time from the start.
I worry about the impact on the new baby on my current baby. Morgan. Morgan is very attached and does not like when I talk about the new baby at all. She will point to the bump and say "naughty baby".
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